Unlucky in Bugs

Disclaimer: slightly condensed for readability.

8:35 AM

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Neighbor: Hi, I hope it’s not too early.  It’s your neighbor ________, from downstairs.

Me: Hi, how are you?

Neighbor: I’m calling because I found more bed bugs, and I wanted to get the name of your exterminator.  I found a few, and then my mother was here visiting me, and we found a whole family.  I’ve been getting bitten.  I’ve been sprayed three times already, and I don’t want to just get sprayed again if they will just come back again.  How about you, have you seen any?

Me: I haven’t seen any yet.  I have gotten a few itchy spots, but I don’t think they’re bed bug bites.  The name of my exterminator is _______________.  They offer a guarantee if you get rid of your mattress and all fabric furniture, but if the landlord is paying for it don’t feel pressured to get rid of your mattress.  They are really nice and will still help you, they just won’t give you a guarantee.

Neighbor: Yeah, I don’t think I can get rid of all that stuff.  But I think it would be good to have some kind of guarantee.

Me: Yeah, I am sleeping on an air mattress and it really sucks, but I think it helped.  Call _______________.  They are really nice and might have some more ideas on why it’s not working.  My exterminator said that your exterminator was using good chemicals for bed bugs, so I don’t know.

Neighbor: Ok, yeah, thank you, bye.

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Me: Oh shit.