Unlucky in Bugs

A while ago I enthusiastically posted about my handheld vacuum, Black & Decker’s 18 Volt Pivot Hand Vac, and I just wanted to update in more detail.  This is a bagless vacuum, which is actually bad for bed bugs, because with bags, you can completely dispose of the vacuumed refuse more easily.  However, the filters for this vacuum are $7 each, and I went through three.  I reused filters by soaking them in boiling soapy water after each use, and then cleaning them with soap and water in the sink and letting them dry overnight far away from the bedroom.  I cleaned all reachable surfaces of the vacuum (the core opens on the side and is easily cleaned) with soap, water, and Fantastik.

On sale at Bed Bath & Beyond for $20 (it’s not online but I’ve seen them at three different Bed Bath & Beyonds this summer) is this pretty good bed bug proofish chair:

You can’t tell from the photo, but it’s a good size – larger than one of those small outdoor folding chairs but smaller than a poolside lounge chair. It’s easily debugged with a steamer or treated by your PCO.

Disclaimer: slightly condensed for readability.

8:35 AM

Ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Neighbor: Hi, I hope it’s not too early.  It’s your neighbor ________, from downstairs.

Me: Hi, how are you?

Neighbor: I’m calling because I found more bed bugs, and I wanted to get the name of your exterminator.  I found a few, and then my mother was here visiting me, and we found a whole family.  I’ve been getting bitten.  I’ve been sprayed three times already, and I don’t want to just get sprayed again if they will just come back again.  How about you, have you seen any?

Me: I haven’t seen any yet.  I have gotten a few itchy spots, but I don’t think they’re bed bug bites.  The name of my exterminator is _______________.  They offer a guarantee if you get rid of your mattress and all fabric furniture, but if the landlord is paying for it don’t feel pressured to get rid of your mattress.  They are really nice and will still help you, they just won’t give you a guarantee.

Neighbor: Yeah, I don’t think I can get rid of all that stuff.  But I think it would be good to have some kind of guarantee.

Me: Yeah, I am sleeping on an air mattress and it really sucks, but I think it helped.  Call _______________.  They are really nice and might have some more ideas on why it’s not working.  My exterminator said that your exterminator was using good chemicals for bed bugs, so I don’t know.

Neighbor: Ok, yeah, thank you, bye.

**********************************

Me: Oh shit.

Number one question I get from my friends who have never had bed bugs.

Although bedbuggers themselves often talk about being “bed bug free,” there is a fundamental difference in the way bedbuggers and their innocent, lucky never-had-bed-bugs friends use the phrase. “Bed bug free,” for those who know a little about bed bugs’ elusive behaviors, can not simply mean a lack of bed bug sightings, though this is part of it, or even being bed bug bite free, also certainly part of it. “Bed bug free” is not even having been sighting-free and bite-free long enough to feel confident mopping up the residual on your floors and taking your clothes out of plastic.

To me what “bed bug free” truly means is shedding that last, oh so powerful, shred of doubt and paranoia in your mind.

I haven’t yet gotten to the mopping and clothes-freeing phase, so even though I want to answer my friends to the eponymous question in the affirmative… even though my PCO did a wonderful job and my infestation was incredibly light to begin with… I can’t. Worse, even though bed bug related tasks are no longer the heavy strain on my budget and schedule that they were in July, I often feel just as depressed as that first week of July when this all started.

I don’t want to turn this into a therapy session, but some causes for my depression are: sleeping on an air mattress, having to keep my clothes in plastic bags, uncomfortable living room, pesticide on the floors, general ugliness of my apartment which used to be a cute place, a now strained relationship with my landlord, fear that if I do get comfortable the bed bugs are lying dormant somewhere/will return again, and over $2000 of bed bug expenses last month. I’m pretty sensitive, and all of this has really taken my self-esteem down a few notches.

I know, I know, getting bed bugs doesn’t mean you are a slob, five star hotels get them, blah, blah, it’s completely irrational. But it’s still depressing. And maybe if I made a little bit more money I would still be faced with all these issues, but if I made A LOT more money, like corporate lawyer amounts of money, I could live in the Avalon Riverview and have a washer/dryer in the building and central air in the summer. But then I would be depressed because I was a corporate lawyer. Ok, that thought actually makes me less depressed. (Being a corporate lawyer==not being a corporate lawyer and having bed bugs.)

But to return to the subject at hand, I am realizing the hard way that it is important to me to have an apartment that is comfortable and completely my own. This is something that I always suspected, and in fact having such an apartment, for the amount of money that I was making from 2005-2007, in New York city, was actually kind of a miracle. Oh New York, if only I could quit you, you lock-jawed, flannel-wearing Ennis Del Mar, you.

In the above sealed plastic bag are: one backpack, one tote bag, one denim purse, and all items of clothing to be worn on my trip home. I packed all of these in a (different) plastic bag, hauled them to the laundromat the night before my flight out to the Midwest, washed them on hot, and dried them, bags and all, for one hour on high. Put them straight into a new plastic bag from the dryer, sealed them with a cable tie, and placed the bag on the seat of my cushion-less Poang in my living room.

In the morning, after showering and putting my pajamas in my laundry Ziploc Big Bag, about a half-hour before my car service was scheduled to arrive, I cut the seal and packed my clothes into the backpack – all in the plastic bag. I brought my non-clothes items to pack into the living room also and packed my purse and tote there (forgetting my photo ID, which I realized as the car pulled in sight of Laguardia later, which we then had to turn back for… making my $15 car ride into a $45 one).

It ended up being a great weekend – such a luxury to live without pesticide on the floor and leave my clothes all about like a normal person!